Scripture: Deuteronomy 31: 6, 8; Psalm 51:5; Isaiah 41:10; Psalms 139: 13,14; Genesis 1:27; Isaiah 43:1; Isaiah 43: 18,19; Exodus 14:13,14; Psalm 46:10; Romans 8:28; Matthew 6:14, 15
Devotional: A year before my biological father passed away, I was in Puerto Rico and he and I had taken a drive up to the country where my family was from to visit and on our way back, he initiated an interesting conversation regarding my biological mother which concluded in him confessing to me that he was not my biological father. I was devastated to say the least and I pleaded with him to tell me the story, and his reply was, “ask your two sisters because they know”. Apparently, I was brought forth in iniquity and in sin my mother conceived me, so he led me to believe. As I suffered that statement and much more that was said about my mother, I implored to my sisters to explain, but to no avail.
I think it’s so ironic that my father said those words to me at the end of his life yet his lifewith me as I remember, he’d say I was his youngest and (La Regalona) which means, the gift. As I grew older, he was always up and down with me and dancing with me. I don’t know if his words were true or just his suspicion, but his actions when I was older and his time with me said otherwise. I chose not to look at my life through one comment made at the end of someone’s life, but to look at it through all the beautiful memories I do have.
I thank God that I was saved and knew my identity in Christ when I received this news, because one of the very first scriptures I learned was, (Isaiah 41:10) “Fear not, for I am with you; Be not dismayed for I am your God. I will strengthen you, Yes, I will uphold you with my righteous right hand” and I stood on this promise to this day. I knew that It was God who created my inward parts, I was fearfully and wonderfully made and that I was made in His image. God was careful to surround me around a great crowd of believers who provided great love and support throughout my walk. God also provided two very special spiritual parents who picked up the pieces and raise me in the Lord.
Though for many years I wondered, I prayed, it was then when I realized when the sense of abandonment originated, (Cease to support or look after, to give up completely, Oxford English Dictionary). I also knew that this would not be my destiny according to the promises of God.
While in reminiscence though living with my parents and siblings, I was raised by my sister who was nine years older than me and yet I was always alone. I was sent to Puerto Rico for three years completing first, second and third grade alone and unloved without seeing my parents or siblings and under the care of a very abusive aunt. Every summer after, for many years I continued my journey to the island of aloneness however, in Christ I learned to be alone yet not lonely.
I learned that He never forsook me, deserted or abandoned me. I learned the power of forgiveness and that everything He allowed in my life was geared to my destiny and my calling. I learned that my past does not define my destiny, because I was redeemed and summoned by name. I learned that He will always fight for me and that I need only to be still. I learned how to wait on Him and that all things work out for the good of those who Love Him and who are called according to His purpose, yup that’s me 😊
Prayer: Father thank you for the forgiveness of my sins known and unknownand fighting for me throughout my entire life. Thank You for all You have done in keeping me even when I didn’t want to be kept. Thank You for healing, delivering and setting me free from the bondage of abandonment, rejection and identity crisis. Thank you for teaching me to forget the former things and knowing that You are doing a new thing in my life always. Thank You for teaching me how to wait on You. Thank You for loving me with unconditional and everlasting LOVE in Jesus Name I pray Amen.